Im back!

Its been ages since i've posted a blog....Was a little lost. I mean, i didnt know what do i write about..where do i start, where do i end. I think i was kinda scared,scared to sit and think, face the truth that i dont have much time. (dont worry, im not going to die *touch wood* or anything) Its just that i cant keep indulging in my own tangled up thoughts, i have to stop getting stuck..something in me is starting to voice out..my heart is not LOST. Im alright....

Well, see right now, things have cleared out a little..and im beginning to see 'me'..as in begin to regain the sense of certainity of life. Not merely shuffling through my days feeling lost and hopeless.. God,im glad those days are finally over..thank you.The school break is here...6 weeks away fom school..TIME TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER.. Begun to relax a little. Before this, i couldn't even breath easy.. God knows why.. I just began torealise it the week after my final exams.. I got so worked up for it..so tensed and i thought that things will return back to normal after they were over. Haha..i was wrong alright..my heart kept beating real fast...throughout the week, it kept jumping. I was still restless... And that was when i realised that i may have pushed it a littletoo far.. I guess i was afraid of change. I wasnt even feeling like myself in the first place. I didnt want that to distract me from everything...I didnt want my marks to go down. Before, i remember the sort of attachment i had with my books, with myself....im not being self cntered here. I just didnt really have much friends that were in the same track as me. They're different.. Only had my dearest Kugan..Prianka, Heva, Jayapriya, Kishur...Florence..they were people that i was comfy with. I guess they never really judged me. Most of all, these guys respect me for who i am...They never did push me away..
Next year, they aint gonna be around anymore...

The last day of school..16th of november. I made a decision.. C, usually, on the last day, my friends and i go out for lunch before heding home..its special and i've been going out for these 'farewell lunches' with two of my best friends; Ash and Nesha since form 1..Last year, we'e lost touch with each other..can you beleive it? we were still in the same school bt we drifted away(heck,ash sat rite next to me in class this whole year but we barely talked!!..it was my fault) Last year, we didnt go out for our lunch....Well actually, we didnt go out for lunch together..i went out with my classmates and they went out with theirs...the twisted part was the fact that we were sitting in the same restaurant..and our tables were next to each other! I thought that maybe things had changed..the last three months of school, we strugled to stay together..we all tried to stay close but they semed to have a new different circle of friends...one which i was not a part of...and i was really busy with the english drama...got really close to the drama team..too much ws happening and PMR was around the corner.. We gave up on it.. time to move on? But that last week of school, i realised that maybe, just maybe we were wrong. So i asked them out for lunch...On friday, we went out and boy we realised that we missed each other ALOT. I missed them..they still know me so well! I felt secure again.. This part of me that was numb all this while breathed..and for once i was relaxed! I finally could breathe easy...

Well, thats the only updates for now..oh yea! Ive invited Kugan, Prianka, Heva. Kishur. jayapriya and florence to create a team log so that we wouldnt lose touch with each other... hope it works! Gonna miss seeing them around in school...